I’m a Good American
I get mail from a lot of people. I don’t get worked up about it, usually. Even when I get an overly political message from an especially angry conservative relative, I just let it lie. I enjoy getting family updates and news enough that I can bear the occasional chain letter.
This one, however, was too good to not respond to. I resisted the urge to reply to all - instead I’ll blog it with my commentary. :)
YES, I’M A BAD AMERICAN
At least you’re modest
I Am the Liberal-Progressives Worst Nightmare. I am an American.
Yes. Liberal Progressives hate America. I’m not tired of that meme at all. For the record my worst nightmare isn’t you. I like you. My worst nightmare: President Cheney.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
Great. Stop paying taxes. Let me know how that works out for you.
I’m in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
I think owning a gun doesn’t make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
Great. I think owning an assault rifle for hunting is kind of weird. Still, to each his own. The Second Amendment isn’t in any imminent danger.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.
Well, find me the part of the Liberal Progressive Guide to the Galaxy that says otherwise. Minority rights need protection however - just ask the religious minorities that fled to America to escape persecution. Or the religious minorities that fled the Midwest for that matter.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.
I believe that maybe you should lay off the Big Macs anyway, don’t you think?
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
I’m all for the First Amendment too - Right on Brother!
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.
My hero is Jerry Springer. Seriously.
I don’t hate the rich. I don’t pity the poor.
I’d like to be rich. I have empathy for those who think I’m rich.
I know wrestling is fake and I don’t waste my time watching or arguing about it.
But the Liberal Progressive Guide to the Universe tells me that I have to argue about it!
Note: I realize that six statement ago, it was the Liberal Progressive Guide to the Universe. Get over it. We liberals, since we don’t have control of the apparatus of government (yet), have been busy making our guidebook an ever expanding behemoth.
I’ve never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven’t burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.
I’ve spent most of my life being persecuted by Turkish Slaves - can I speak?
I believe if you don’t like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country! This is AMERICA.
You sound distraught with how things have turned out. I guess you’ll be leaving too?
How about this: if you don’t like the way things are Organize, Demonstrate and Vote. Elect someone who shares your values like George Bush and let me know how that works out.
If you were born here and don’t like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you.
A socialist country that nationalizes private industry? Oh wait, socialist countries generally nationalize successful businesses. That makes us kind of like socialists - just dumber.
Really, you don’t sound happy here, let me help you with your bags.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
Let me be the first to break more shocking news:
Swedish Chef: Never attended culinary school.
Colonel Sanders: Never in the Military
Dr. Pepper: Doesn’t even have his Bachelor’s degree
Jesse Jackson: Ordained in 1968 but was active in the Civil Rights movement full-time and never had his own congregation.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry rear if you’re running from them.
I look forward to your first “misunderstanding”
I also think they have the right to pull you over if you’re breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
Isn’t that already the case - in theory anyway? In practice, have you ever noticed that nobody has ever claimed to get pulled over for a DWW (Driving While White)?
And, no, I don’t mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it’s good….. And I’m proud that ‘God’ is written on my money.
OK, I searched the entire Liberal Progressive Guide to the Metaverse (and it wasn’t easy - let me tell you) and I didn’t find anything about faces on drivers’ licenses.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don’t want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
Sadly, there isn’t an IQ test at the ballot box. The voters don’t need to prove any expertise and neither to the candidates - obviously.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making ‘donations’ to their cause
Don’t I know it. I can’t stand those whack jobs that try to guilt you into giving them money.
” Sell what you have, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven”
I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents, one of each sex.
Honestly, I think I’d trust Adam and Steve’s parenting skills over George and Barbara’s. Don’t you think?
I believe ‘illegal’ is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
Great - illegal means illegal. I’ll update the Liberal Progressive Guide to the Multiverse. It wasn’t long enough anyway.
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA!
So much for St. Patrick’s Day!
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I’m a BAD American.
I’ll keep that in mind.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
If you’re a good American, blog it!
We want our country back!
I’d say it’s high time to take it back! The people running the place for the past eight years have done a really crappy job.
